Category Archives: Miscellaneous

Serebistya (The Kitten) Has Had A Stroke Of Misfortune


My sweet Serek (the contraction of her name, almost all Russians do this), has not acclimatised to Copenhagen well. For one reason. In Kiev, she was in a sealed flat, an indoor cat. In Copenhagen, she lives on the second floor of an apartment with open windows. I am assured by the just as lovely Sub that she is nursing only wounded pride and a broken leg, which is healing in a splinter. On top of that, I’m raising money for playgrounds in deepest Russia, gissa a quid

The Joy of Unemployment


Don’t get me wrong – there are more days than not when I am so utterly fucked-off and down-trodden with not working (who’d have thought?) that I feel like 100 year old film, the light at the end of the tunnel just a pin hole exposed to me for less than 5 seconds. I apply for work, I read the ‘papers online, I invent cheap & strange dishes, I edit and I write. In short, I keep myself busy, as one is always advised to. I work in the kitchen, and I’ve become anal about not seeing the sitting room until past 6pm, although the stationing of my new printer in that room means I need to be more flexible. Things are such that I delivered my CV and references to the Irish bar around the corner today – whilst my previous experience is not listed, I’m hoping the references from the two pubs I’ve worked in will swing it; I’ve got a feeling chatter about National Hunt racing might go down well in there.

Anyway, The Joy. I decided to visit my friend Louise today. I went to school with her husband, Chris, and we’re great mates. I lived with Chris, Louise and the then 7 month old Luca for a couple of months last summer, and that little sod got under my skin. Spending that much time with a child of that age is nothing but a priviledge and I count Luca as a mate.

So, it’s just a ramble about a “nice day”. We caught up over coffee and Jaffa Cakes so good I remarked that “These aren’t just any Jaffa Cakes….”. Sure enough, they were M&S Jaffa Cakes. Luca and I discussed his new footballs (regulation and fun size, already displaying an affection to use his father’s favoured left peg) and of course, my trilby. I’m sure he’s crazy for any “ha” as he calls them, but I like to think mine is his favourite. It survives all the torture visited upon it by the unscrupulous “Chumpy”, springing back into its shape.

Anyway, we took off into the park and visited the Princess Di kiddie’s play area, where you can see Luca doing his Commodore Grandfather proud in the boat. Louise was insistent that some A list slebs got in there from time to time, but it’s not the kind of thing that interests me. We strolled off towards the duck pond (along with approximations for “hat”, “flowers” and “horses”, “ducks” is a word in Luca’s vocabulary), but half way there (and I can say this, because on the list of way over 6 billion people that don’t read this blog, Chris is in the high 5,000,000,000’s) Louise suggested we retire to the juicer for a quick pint.

A simple, nice day. And special in its way. I jumped on the public transport home, and ambled the last 100 yards past the very posh cafe, home. Jade Jagger walked out across my path. But, like I say, that’s not something that interests me.

Wasabi Whites & Tomato Yokes


Here is a quick and simple way to make your weekend fry-up more interesting.
1) Seperate you whites and yokes
2) Mix Wasabi to taste with the white, tomato puree with the yokes.
3) Fry seperately, and quickly.
4) If you’re looking to impress, cut the yokes and whites into circles and present as if complete eggs.

Trust me, bloody good, tried it Saturday.